Allow me to introduce
myself. My name is Alan Badmington, a retired police officer
from Wales in the United Kingdom. I stuttered uncontrollably
for more than 50 years, until May 2000, when I attended a
McGuire course. Those four days dramatically changed my
life.
The stutter had,
hitherto, played such a major part. Childhood days were
troublesome, adolescence problematical, while my police career
was totally blighted by the impediment. I was denied
promotion, despite qualifying for a prestigious accelerated
advancement scheme at an early age. Doors were firmly closed,
and I spent much of my adult working life in an administrative
capacity, having only limited contact with the general public.
One supervisor (when writing about my stutter) expressed the
view that I was “an embarrassment to all”. On another
occasion, an irate Chief Constable (impatient with my attempts
to respond to questioning) terminated a Promotion Board
Interview and told me not to his waste time in the future, as
he would never consider me for promotion.
Since the course, four
and a half years ago, the transformation in my speech has been
truly remarkable. Using the techniques I learned, I set about
dismantling the psychological framework that had supported my
stutter throughout my life. I challenged my self-limiting
beliefs and changed my narrow self-image. Unlike previous
unsuccessful therapies that I had experienced, the McGuire
Program provided a unique support network that is so essential
when attempting to overcome stuttering.
Only five weeks after
graduating from my initial course, I accepted an invitation to
appear on national (coast to coast) television in a programme
devoted to stuttering. I felt that I had a duty to inform
those who were interested, that fluency of speech is not just
for others – it is also within their individual grasp.
Besides, I saw it as a means of expanding my comfort zone.
In August 2000, I
travelled to the USA, where I put my speech to an even sterner
test, while promoting the first ever McGuire course in that
vast country. This involved subjecting myself to numerous
television, radio and newspaper interviews throughout
California and Nevada. What a challenge for someone who,
previously, would have experienced considerable difficulty in
merely saying his name in such circumstances. I subsequently
assisted with the instruction of 20 new American students, who
were attending the inaugural course at Reno in October of that
year. I was also joined by a large number of fellow McGuire
graduates, who had given up their time to travel from
Australia, Ireland, Holland and the UK, in order to impart
their expertise and render invaluable support to those
entering the Program.
I will now speak to
anyone, at anytime, and each day I set myself new challenges.
Some people will, no doubt, suggest that I have a tendency to
speak too much (a charge to which I would probably plead
guilty), but after waiting for over half a century, there is
so much to say. I have been finally liberated from the
debilitating oral shackles that had inhibited me since
childhood. Having been provided with the tools for recovery,
I fully intend to utilise my newly acquired fluency to maximum
effect. My lifelong fear of speaking has been eradicated, and
I now have an overwhelming desire to place myself in
situations where I may constantly test and expand these
conversational skills. Whereas, I would previously have
avoided unnecessary personal contact of almost any kind, I now
actively seek out circumstances in which I am obliged to
communicate with total strangers. The more imposing the
challenge, the greater the urge to participate and, of course,
the more rewarding the sense of personal achievement.
Perhaps you will allow
me a brief moment to relate a few of the many heartening
occurrences that I have experienced since attending my first
course. Whilst in Reno in 2000, I made the acquaintance of an
Assistant Professor of Communicative Disorders who was present
as an independent observer. She later invited me to undertake
a series of presentations at Arkansas State University,
primarily aimed at providing future speech-language
pathologists with a better understanding of what it is like to
be a person who stutters.
My visit to Arkansas
coincided with the first anniversary of the commencement of my
recovery. To mark the occasion, I was presented with a cake
bearing one candle. I also received a model turtle, the
significance of which is that a turtle can only move forward
by sticking its neck out. They reckoned that I had done so
during the preceding twelve months.
Here, in the UK, I
have joined the Association of Speakers' Clubs (which has its
origins in Toastmasters) and currently hold membership of
three clubs within the ASC. During the past three years, I
have enjoyed a high degree of success in their annual speaking
contests, in competition with fluent speakers. I have been
fortunate to win nine separate championships - securing second
place on a further eight occasions. In April 2005, I was one
of the eight finalists in the ASC UK national public speaking
contest, having won the Club, Area and District titles en
route.
In addition, I am
currently involved in an extensive program of speaking
engagements involving community organisations. My talks
(already scheduled as far ahead as April 2006) are intended to
increase public awareness about stuttering. On many
occasions, I am invited to return and speak about
non-stuttering topics. In April 2005, I shall be addressing
one organisation for the fourth consecutive year.
In September 2001, I
gave a 10,000-word presentation, entitled “Stuttering is not
just a speech problem”, to the Annual Conference of the
British Stammering Association (BSA) in England. I also made
a similar presentation at the National Stuttering Association
(NSA) Annual Convention, in California, in July 2002. A
transcript of the speech is now available on many
international stuttering related websites, including the
Stuttering Homepage, the British Stammering Association and
the McGuire Program.
In February 2004, I
was the sole UK keynote speaker at the World Congress for
People Who Stutter, in Western Australia. The subject of my
speech (and separate workshop) was entitled, “STEP OUTSIDE:
Why expanding comfort zones can improve our stuttering and
help us to live more fulfilling lives”. While attending the
Congress, I entered the Oratory (public speaking) Contest, in
competition with delegates from every continent. I was
thrilled to be declared the winner.
I have also
contributed many articles to ‘Letting Go’ and ‘Speaking Out’,
the respective journals of the National Stuttering Association
and the British Stammering Association. Likewise, I
contributed articles and poems to the International Stuttering
Awareness Day (ISAD) Online Conferences in 2002, 2003 and
2004. Links to some of the articles that I have written are
shown at the end of this testimonial.
In May 2004, I visited
Sweden as a guest of the Swedish Speech Academy (Talakademin).
During a 4-day workshop, I assisted persons who stutter to
improve their confidence of speaking in front of audiences in
the medium of the English language. I shall be returning to
Sweden in May 2005 to address an international conference.
I had a chance
encounter with my former employer who, like myself, has now
retired. Recalling my “terrible stammer” (that’s the word we
use in the UK to describe a stutter), the Chief Constable
admitted that he could not recognise me as the same person who
had worked under his command for more than 14 years. Such was
the improvement in my speech. (To his credit, during my
career, he never disguised the fact that the impediment had
been the sole reason for denying me promotion).
Interestingly, a
police newsletter carried a very heartening story about my
recovery. Referring to my appearance on a radio program, it
highlighted the fact that my stutter had been a big obstacle
during my police service, confining me to administrative
duties and preventing my promotion. It concluded, “It was
amazing to hear Alan speaking with such confidence and without
a trace of his stammer”. Nothing will ever make amends for
the anguish and catalogue of lost opportunities that tainted
my police career, but at least my former colleagues will now
view me in a different light.
Please be assured that
I have not brought these incidents to notice for any
egotistical reason; I merely wished to demonstrate how far a
McGuire graduate can progress in such a short period.
One of the unique
characteristics of McGuire courses is that they are run
entirely by former students (or graduates, as they are known)
from earlier courses. Perhaps, most importantly, all have
suffered the indignity and painful isolation associated with
stuttering, thus allowing them to deal compassionately with
those in their charge. Having attended many courses, and
successfully qualified as a course instructor and coach, I now
have the opportunity to reciprocate by assisting the progress
of new students and existing graduates. I have instructed
courses in Washington DC, Las Vegas, Wales and England.
As former
co-owner/moderator of Stutteringchat (the world’s largest
Internet group for persons associated with stuttering - with a
membership in excess of 1700), I regularly communicated with
persons who stutter from all over the world. Consequently, I
have developed an even greater empathy with the stuttering
community. This has given me an incredible insight into the
problems that they encounter and will prove invaluable to me
in my capacity as an instructor. I also belong to a further
seven stuttering-related email groups, including those
dedicated to the McGuire Program.
I can only assume that
anyone who is reading my story has an interest in stuttering.
Perhaps you are seeking information on behalf of a friend,
colleague or loved one – or, maybe, it is you who experiences
such a speech difficulty? You will never hear anyone on the
McGuire Program claim that it is a miracle cure, or that it is
suitable for everyone. To the contrary, prior to my initial
course I was left in no doubt that, in order to succeed, I
would need to work hard. I was quite prepared to put in that
effort and have, subsequently, reaped the immense rewards.
Whatever I write here,
I know that it can never fully reflect the immense debt of
gratitude I owe the McGuire Program. On the second day of my
initial course, I knew it was my saviour; I was walking on
air. You cannot begin to imagine just how much emotion is
generated within such a gathering of persons, whose lives have
been plagued by the problem. I shall, forever, retain the
indelible memories of my fellow students, many of whom had
endured far greater suffering than myself. We were
experiencing genuine freedom of speech for the very first time
in our lives and it was, indeed, a moving occasion.
The McGuire Program
has benefited so many people throughout the world, since its
inception in 1994, and I shall always be grateful to my wife
for helping me to overcome my initial scepticism. Ironically,
having experimented with various therapies in the past, I did
not wish to subject myself to any further disappointment.
Fortunately, she had other ideas and persuaded me to attend an
Open Day in England. I watched, intently, while graduates
gave public viewings of the videos exposing their oral
struggles at the commencement of their initial courses, and
could not fail to be impressed by the remarkable improvement
in their live speech presentations. Others in the audience
openly wept, perhaps realising that, at long last, it might be
possible for themselves (or their loved ones) to achieve their
life-long dreams of speaking without difficulty.
I will not disguise
the fact that I (and others) have occasionally lamented the
non-availability of the McGuire Program in my younger days.
There were so many heartaches, forlorn hopes and wasted
opportunities - and all because of my inability to converse in
a manner that others found acceptable. No, I am not bitter;
merely reflecting upon what might have been. What happened is
now history and I do not intend to waste time, or energy,
dwelling on the past. Conversely, I can now move forward in
the safe knowledge that I am in complete control of my speech,
and the master of my own destiny. Never again will I be
forced to accept second best. Throughout my life, I
experienced difficulty saying words commencing with certain
letters. Indeed, half of the alphabet remained outside my
scope. I developed an expertise for word substitution and
became a ‘walking thesaurus’. Today, my stuttering mindset
has been completely reversed and I no longer fear any word or
speaking situation.
If you know of anyone
who might be assisted by an introduction to the McGuire
Program, please do not hesitate to contact any member for
details. If you wish to contact me personally, please email
me at
alan@highfieldstile.fsnet.co.uk
Thank you for allowing
me to share my experiences with you.
Kindest regards
Alan
Badmington
January 2005
LINKS TO SOME OF THE ARTICLES I HAVE WRITTEN:
(1) 'Stuttering is not just a speech problem':
http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/kuster/Infostuttering/badmington.pdf
(Adobe
Reader required)
http://www.stammer.demon.co.uk/conf2001_alanbadmington/
(2) 'STEP OUTSIDE: Why expanding comfort zones can improve our
stuttering and lead to more fulfilling lives'. (This was the
title of my ISAD Online Conference paper in 2003 - and my
keynote speech to the World Congress in 2004):
http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/isad6/papers/badmington6.htm1
The following url relates to my success in the Oratory (public
speaking) Competition at the World Congress in
Australia:
http://www.stammering.org/news_perth.html
(3) 'Accustomed as I am....". This article appeared in the
winter/spring 2002 issue of 'Speaking Out' (the magazine of
the British Stammering Association). It follows my entry into
the world of public speaking, but does not include recent
happenings in that area.
http://www.stammering.org/accustomedasIam.html
(4) 'Increasing Public Awareness'. This combines two separate
articles that I contributed to
'Speaking Out'
in 2003:
http://www.stammering.org/increasingawareness.html
(5) I contributed the following items to the 2004
International Stuttering Awareness Day Online Conference:
(a) Poem 1: Changing the Words Around:
I contributed this poem to the 2004 International Stuttering
Awareness Day Online Conference. It explains the implications
of avoidance and word substitution. It has been illustrated by
a friend from the
UK
and is now used in many parts of the world. Although the poem
was principally written for children, the message is equally
relevant (and important) to adults.
http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/isad7/papers/badmington7/badmington17.html
HOW I CHANGED MY STUTTERING MINDSET
I wrote this for the International Stuttering Awareness Day
Online Conference in 2005.
http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/isad8/papers/badmington8.html
TECHNOLOGY: A FRIEND OR FOE OF SOMEONE WHO STUTTERS?
I contributed this article to the 2006 ISAD Online
Conference. Although technology may be of assistance to
persons who stutter, it can also create greater avoidance,
thereby strengthening fears and self-limiting beliefs:
http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/isad9/papers/badmington9.html
EVERYONE'S DIFFERENT
I also wrote this poem for the 2005 ISAD Online Conference. It
is intended to help children to gain a better understanding
that everyone (not just those who stutter) is unique.
http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/isad7/papers/badmington7/badmington27.html
IT'S GOOD TO TALK ABOUT IT
I wrote this for the 2005 ISAD Online Conference to encourage
persons to be more open about their stuttering.
http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/isad7/papers/bridgebuilders7/alan7.html
MY COMMITMENT TO SPEAKING ABOUT STUTTERING IS OPENING SO MANY
NEW DOORS
This recent addition to the British Stammering Association
website outlines how my public speaking engagements have
escalated/widened during recent
times:
http://www.stammering.org/newdoors.html
ACTING IS A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE
This article appeared in the 2004 autumn issue of the Speaking
Out. I wrote it after attending a summer drama school.
http://www.stammering.org/acting.html
